I guess first I should fill in some of my perspective from Seamus's birthday.
Mark's version of the events was so heartfelt. Few people get to see that side of him, but my husband is a sweet man with a soft heart. His family is his whole world and I know it's been a tough road for him too.
Tuesday was kind of scary. Actually it was all going well until they got me down to pre-op and my blood pressure went crazy. At it's peak it was 201/105 - YIKES! Because it was so high, they had to start something called a "Mag Wash". They basically flood your body with magnesium, which prevents seizures. The initial "load" is significant and they were doing that while administering the epidural and prepping for surgery. They did warn me it would make me feel awful.
Once in the OR, my doctor was all over it. She led the team in a very successful delivery. Mark was brought in at the last second and he was giving me reassurance with his eyes when we heard Seamus cry out for the first time. We both cried tears of relief with the knowledge that his lungs were working well enough for him to cry upon entry to the world.
The NICU team quickly got to work and the head of their team came over to give us a quick update. He asked Mark to accompany them to the NICU and they all took off. They finished closing me up in the OR and then I had to stay in a quiet recovery room for four hours. All of my family was in the waiting room, but no one other than my mom and Mark (and even then, only one at a time) were allowed to see me that night. They kept the room dark, no music, and no talking - only whispering.
The Mag Wash is a 24 hour test of your endurance under extreme circumstances. I didn't realize just how bad it was until after I was done with it. In hindsight, I can see how it causes extreme lethargy and nausea, while at the same time making you unable to sleep. That combo makes for some poor judgement and mine was definitely impaired through the end of the day on Wednesday.
Wednesday night I was moved to the regular L&D floor, and it was another tough night. I called my mom at 5 in the morning and asked her to come up and help me get back on track. I definitly overestimated my ability to handle everything on my own. By mid-afternoon Thursday, my whole world looked a lot better. There is just nothing like your mom to make things right again.
Mark and I visited Seamus Thursday night and he is looking good. As I feel better each day, I think my brain allows me more of a realistic outlook regarding Seamus. In the first 48 hours, I think I was little too easy about his circumstances. I am not alarmist now, but I do have a better understanding of what it means to have a child in the NICU.
It's a whole different experience than bringing home a newborn a few days after they are born. Upon reflection, I can think of several people we know who have been through this. I'm sure there are several more who have told me and I forgot. I am sorry to all of you. I had no idea what a big thing you were telling me and how much it shapes who you are.
Having said all that, I still think our NICU experience will be pretty mild compared to most. Seamus could be home in as soon as a few weeks. Now that's something else I have learned about the NICU. They don't really want parents to ask when their child is coming home. No one knows. It's a day by day thing and we'll find out a few days before they are ready to release him. Consequently, when people ask us when he's coming home, please know we are not being evasive. We don't know either.
We got a really cool Presby backpack from the NICU. It's kind of like a badge of honor to a club you never wanted to be in, although when you consider some of the alternatives, it's a badge you will wear proudly and hope you earn the right to wear with dignity.
The attached photo was a brief moment when Seamus didn't have anything but the feeding tube in. His eyes were still swollen shut. We promise to post more photos soon and to continue with regular thoughts and updates through this format...
Mark's version of the events was so heartfelt. Few people get to see that side of him, but my husband is a sweet man with a soft heart. His family is his whole world and I know it's been a tough road for him too.
Tuesday was kind of scary. Actually it was all going well until they got me down to pre-op and my blood pressure went crazy. At it's peak it was 201/105 - YIKES! Because it was so high, they had to start something called a "Mag Wash". They basically flood your body with magnesium, which prevents seizures. The initial "load" is significant and they were doing that while administering the epidural and prepping for surgery. They did warn me it would make me feel awful.
Once in the OR, my doctor was all over it. She led the team in a very successful delivery. Mark was brought in at the last second and he was giving me reassurance with his eyes when we heard Seamus cry out for the first time. We both cried tears of relief with the knowledge that his lungs were working well enough for him to cry upon entry to the world.
The NICU team quickly got to work and the head of their team came over to give us a quick update. He asked Mark to accompany them to the NICU and they all took off. They finished closing me up in the OR and then I had to stay in a quiet recovery room for four hours. All of my family was in the waiting room, but no one other than my mom and Mark (and even then, only one at a time) were allowed to see me that night. They kept the room dark, no music, and no talking - only whispering.
The Mag Wash is a 24 hour test of your endurance under extreme circumstances. I didn't realize just how bad it was until after I was done with it. In hindsight, I can see how it causes extreme lethargy and nausea, while at the same time making you unable to sleep. That combo makes for some poor judgement and mine was definitely impaired through the end of the day on Wednesday.
Wednesday night I was moved to the regular L&D floor, and it was another tough night. I called my mom at 5 in the morning and asked her to come up and help me get back on track. I definitly overestimated my ability to handle everything on my own. By mid-afternoon Thursday, my whole world looked a lot better. There is just nothing like your mom to make things right again.
Mark and I visited Seamus Thursday night and he is looking good. As I feel better each day, I think my brain allows me more of a realistic outlook regarding Seamus. In the first 48 hours, I think I was little too easy about his circumstances. I am not alarmist now, but I do have a better understanding of what it means to have a child in the NICU.
It's a whole different experience than bringing home a newborn a few days after they are born. Upon reflection, I can think of several people we know who have been through this. I'm sure there are several more who have told me and I forgot. I am sorry to all of you. I had no idea what a big thing you were telling me and how much it shapes who you are.
Having said all that, I still think our NICU experience will be pretty mild compared to most. Seamus could be home in as soon as a few weeks. Now that's something else I have learned about the NICU. They don't really want parents to ask when their child is coming home. No one knows. It's a day by day thing and we'll find out a few days before they are ready to release him. Consequently, when people ask us when he's coming home, please know we are not being evasive. We don't know either.
We got a really cool Presby backpack from the NICU. It's kind of like a badge of honor to a club you never wanted to be in, although when you consider some of the alternatives, it's a badge you will wear proudly and hope you earn the right to wear with dignity.
The attached photo was a brief moment when Seamus didn't have anything but the feeding tube in. His eyes were still swollen shut. We promise to post more photos soon and to continue with regular thoughts and updates through this format...
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